Things Family and Friends of Pregnant people should know
Gotta get this out of my chest...
1) Don't be an FBI
Early stage of Pregnancy
Really, don't snoop. Don't try to guess. Don't try to investigate. If you are a close friend of family, I would really have like to share the new to you personally or suwe need to clap for your intelligence. What if we have planned a surprise to tell you? For some, it takes courage to share such news and receive replies like "Oh I knew it!", "I guessed it long ago!". Why you so like that? :(
Later Stage of Pregnancy
“Are you pregnant?”….no, I just have a really really big beer belly.
2) Being "Too Generous" with Advice
Now being the 21st century. We have a lot of modern mummies. People like us don't necessarily follow the pregnancy myths and old wives tales closely. More often than not, they tell you really irrelevant thing like eating crab will make your baby have itchy hands (not literally itching, as in likes to touch stuff), sticking stuff on the wall will cause facial defects, doing that will disfigure the baby, etc. Like we don’t have enough things to worry about already.
3) Do Not Stare at our Belly
Nobody likes to be stared at. Neither do we. The bump is an awkward part of us now, don’t make us feel more awkward. Thank you!
4) Neither are you allowed to touch my belly without asking
For this, I will raise my hands and plead guilty! I used to touch people’s pregnant belly without asking because I think it is very cute as if I am touching the baby. Now that I know better, I want to apologise to all the pregnant friends for being disrespectful. I wished someone told me earlier!
It is very rude to touch a pregnant belly without asking, whether or not you are close to this person or you are related to this person. Ask a non-pregnant person if they like their belly touched/rubbed and they will give you a disgusted face. Yes, this is how we feel when someone (other than our husband) touch our belly. It is our body you are touching, you are not intravenously touching the baby, in actual fact, it is not cute at all.
At first, I thought maybe it is because of the depression or I am being difficult. But I surveyed with a group of pregnant mothers, nobody likes to have their belly rubbed by random people. We understand that people that rub our belly mean no harm or bad intention, we know you are interested in our baby but it is really uncomfortable and you are touching a rather personal/sensitive part of our body.
As CNY is round the corner, if you feel that you really need to touch your relative’s pregnant bump, it doesn’t hurt to ask :)
Meanwhile, my fellow pregnant friend Audrey just sent me a picture of a t shirt I wish I have time to buy for this CNY:
What you think of this t-shirt with a pink tulle skirt?
Oh...one more thing! When people ask you "Was it planned?", how rude.
Ok and one last thing!! I don't even know when people bother to ask this, I been asked this question by male colleague "Are you going for natural or c-sect?". Unless you are pregnant too and deciding between natural birth or elective c-sect, this question is as private as asking "what color underwear are you wearing?"
